Title: 'cause all of me, loves all of you
Length: 586 words
Summary: the one, whom he selfishly hopes, still cares for him as much.
Warning/s: lapslock (as always)
Notes: set in the same storyline as my krisho angst series, also i promise that i'm working on my other krisho story rn - i'm writing the second chapter right now, but i think i had to let the angst out before i could write something happy (bc most of the second chapter is going to be more on the happy side) - and i was listening to 凡凡's performance of "all of me" (on repeat) and i couldn't let go of this idea that came to me ;A;
"sing with more emotion," his manager tells him one last time. "remember that."
yifan nods in return, he's been having a little trouble with putting enough emotion while singing this particular song, although he's not sure why. maybe it's because the song's a cover and has really no connections with him.
yifan guesses that now he has about two minutes to think up of some connection with the song so he can emote well.
he closes his eyes and leans back on the chair, relaxing and breathing slowly. he runs the lyrics over and over again in his head until- oh.
yifan's breath hitches as a particular person comes up in his mind. memories of that person smiling and crying. memories of him hugging and loving yifan.
yifan lets out a shaky breath, closing his eyes tightly as the images and memories play on a loop in his head. when he opens his eyes, they are slightly watery and sheen under the lights of the backstage room.
"you're up!" a staff informs yifan, breaking the actor out of his thoughts.
yifan manages to smile and nod in the staff's direction before he gets up and starts walking towards the stage and calming himself down, blinking his eyes repeatedly.
crying on the stage would be too much.
yifan walks towards the mic with his head down, the black strands of his hair covering his eyes. he hears the cheers in the background but can't give them much thought when the memories of that person are still running in his mind.
when yifan hears the piano start playing, the grip on his mic tightens slightly and he gets ready. the video starts behind him, it's of his upcoming movie, and he begins to sing.
all he can think about that one person. that one person who helped him, stood by him and loved him for the past four years. yifan feels like he's singing to that person, he feels like all of his emotions, his suppressed feelings are all pouring out with this song and its lyrics.
yifan looks up at the audience through his eyelashes and his eyes glisten when he notices a familiar figure standing all the way in the back. it's too dark and yifan can't make out if it is who he thinks the person is, so he closes his eyes again and lets his head droop a bit as he keeps on singing.
when he opens his eyes again, the person's gone. maybe it was just a hallucination. it probably was.
that person couldn't possibly be present. he had his own schedules to attend as well. and now that yifan had left the person alone, he would probably be having extra burdens put on him. yifan hopes that that person is still okay. that that person is not too hurt by yifan.
he hopes that that person knows how much yifan still loves him, even though yifan had left.
the song comes to an end and as the final keys of the piano play softly, the audience cheers - the response to yifan's performance is good. yifan bows once the piano stops playing and gulps when he raises his head again.
he manages to smile even though he feels like crying, even though all he can think of is that person. the one who cared for him so much.
the one, whom he selfishly hopes, still cares for him as much.
the one for whom this song's lyrics are perfect.